freak weather conditions...

... on Dorset hilltop lead to extremely stressed hausfrau.


We had some rain here today, it reminded me of Summer;-)


We also had some gusty winds.


I was good hausfrau on Sunday afternoon and began the sort out on my green house (house which is green not glass-paned structure filled with delicious homegrown vegetables) in the garden. It was very exciting. I found lots of fabulous things that I had actually painted! Not finished you understand but painted.


Except this one.






This was finished and ready to hang. And I even hung it, drilling holes in the wall and everything! This fella is in the Peter Ompir style.


I also found this





This is a little pegboard. The lighting is a bit crubbish so the picture of the whole thing was rubbish but the colours are really good in it. The whole thing is approx. three peg sections long. I love this lil bird. This one is finished too.


There were also some Christmas things. This perky wee fella and lid are half finished, just a few more strokes on his beard and a thick coating of varnish will make it 100% done. Sadly as he has been languishing for some years 'oot ther' he has become a little rusty on the edges but I shall call it shabby chic ;-)





This is a Jamie Mills-Price pattern. (note rust spots)





This morning I put out several boxes of crubbish - old paper, new paper that got damp, boxes of skanky china dolphins someone gave me years ago (why??). It was a good feeling.


This is the other Christmassy thing I freed from my indolence. Now I have (finally) glued his feet on it is another outing for the varnish then WHAMMO! he is done. Of course I also must varnish the three Wise Men who sit in those spaces then perform a little jiggery pokery construction then voila! another finished item. But he is cute, no?





Finally I have my delightful bin.





Tres grown-up and elegant I think?





Now this I really should finish but am kind of stuck on those pointy bits. The painting there is all fiddly and I need to 'think' about it some more.


So back to the freak weather.....





In September!! Would you credit it?!?!?


One of the side effects of this clear-out was boxes lying around waiting to be assigned new lives. The rubbish had gone out and I had nearly cleared my desk. This left just one little box and I was going to see if a friend wanted its contents. Next time I looked out the front door it was just as if there had been a blizzard blow through.


This was the content of the box spread wide across my garden. I spent the next hour sweeping up wet bloody polystyrene beads. As the wind blew. And the rain came down. I was less than amused. (Some may say they were leopardmonkey guts ;-)


Because this post doesn't have enough pictures I want to show you the box I did for my Russian Doll swap giftee.

I was a little chuffed with this one because I made it all up myself. The words in Cyrillic writing around the outside read 'Happy Days'.




I liked it so much I have done the whole thing again on a tray for my house :-)

Unbeliveably

This was written last night, excuse the delay in posting.

We were at the vet again this morning.



Same dog, other end.



I won't give you all the gory details but I was sufficiently worried that I rang the vet first thing and asked for an appointment. 'Is it an emergency?' I was asked.
'Well, one of his testicles is ENORMOUSLY swollen.'
'Oh!' she said somewhat taken aback. 'How quickly can you be here?'


So I rolled out of bed and was at the vet's 15 minutes later. We saw the same one who had done his surgery so he obviously thought he was in safe hands. HA! Not only were her hands cold but she was exerting pressure on a very tender area. The ultimate indignity was that she then took his temperature! Oh he was really not a happy hound by then.



Her diagnosis? Orchitis which as we all know means testicular infection (warn the men in your life ;-) The upshot is that not only does he have to suffer wearing vet bling for at least another four days and having acid poured into his eye twice a day but now he has to swallow half a horse tablet morning and evening. We are going back on Wednesday to see if everything is (ahem) just a little thing




Congratulations Carloyn. With such a massive response to my offer in the previous post I returned to my old friend the random interger generator and it chose Carolyn to be the recipient of the the late 2001 blue model. I shall send him off Monday morning complete with all his cases of Lego. Watch your postbox Tuesday ;-)

Free to good home **EDITED

Two young (ish) children.
1998 and 2001 editions


Minimal wear, no longer in box but all parts attached.


Soundbox in top condition and works at full volume, tested in both models on regular basis.


Both come complete with full wardrobe and accessories.


Tears function in working order on older model,
intermittent working order on newer one.



Genuine need for disposal, owner moving without forwarding address.

Postage paid to assure quick sale

****EDIT****

1998 model - pink
2001 model - blue


Offer has been received for early model.

Later one still available.

Did you really think I wouldn't?

I had a blogaversary had you noticed? And in the tradition of Ric-Rac I have held a retrospective giveaway.

So thank you to everyone who left a message on my blogaversary post and a huge and hearty congratulations to Blossom and the delightful and ever fragrant Lauren at all the good blognames were taken .

I shall endeavour to make my peace with the post office and send out something lovely soon :-)

He's back (this post is a little gory.)

Thank you for all your kind thoughts. I'm sure it has made the indignities of eye surgery and teeth scraping easier to bear for him. He is home safely now and has found his favourite spot that will also fit his fabulous vet bling


I present you - a picture of contentment.

When the vet phoned to say the black hound was available for collection we had the option of magically transporting the 5 or so miles to the surgery in the few minutes after school finished OR picking him up beforehand.

So the two four year olds and I went off the hill and (eventually) were handed back my black dog on a red string. Except now he was wearing a giant bucket around his head and weaving as he walked. Once in the car we had to head straight for school.

It was more than a recovering hound should have been expected to endure, not least the laughter of young children at the bucket on his head. Felt vindicated when the laughter was stopped by gasps of horror as they caught a glimpse of this.....

And the really horrid kids may even had this pointed out to them!

I'm just saying is all........

Unexpectedly

I find myself as a single dog family.

I took my black dog down to have his squinty eye checked out and they have taken him in to clean it up surgically!

I walked in with a naughty black dog on a lead and walked out with nothing.

It was very weird.

He will be back later. Until then the grey hound is my whining shadow.

I don't think he wants the black dog back, just confirmation that he has actually gone for good ;-)

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed???

You never see John Seargent and Jo Brand in the same room at the same time.

Coincedence or not?

You decide......

Evil sister-in-law comes good.

I was a good mother this week past. He needed a new bag for his football kit he told me, what with the new term and getting shin pads and gloves for his birthday and all. So after school last Thursday we raided the airing cupboard to find something suitable.






And you won't believe what I found!


This is an old duvet my evil s-i-l got Sylv to cut down from double to single some many lots of years ago. I have been carting it around the world with me all that time because I loved the material, both the fabric and the pattern.



This evil s-i-l has always only 'bought the best' but (and obviously this will probably only make sense to Australians sorry) .....







what proves just how old this is?







They haven't been in Collingwood for years!



After unearthing the duvet offcut I kept digging and OH! MY! STARS! I found my first ever quilt.



(You get an idea of scale from Pr. C-W and DestructoBoy on either side.)



Well, the top and the back of it but they are sadly unlinked. I think I may go to my local group of quilty old ladies.







Yes those are badgers on the back. There is a reason, I won't bore you with why.




The front is a 5x5 nine square patch and the fabrics scream 'Trash Can circa 1990'. Quite honestly I wouldn't choose them now but I know I loved that green back them. And the blue floral too. One of the reasons it was so long being finished (the top was completed in 1993) was tracking down that blue. Not a place in Melbourne could furnish me with any. I ended up tracking some down in Glenrowan or somewhere up there when CK was over for his first Aus trip.




Something else to add to my 'must finish one day' list.

Ooo! Blogland is full of such loveliness...

Be it her personal or her shop blog this woman's world is full of loveliness.


Go have a little look here and here.

Oh how the years hang heavy.

We received this picture from an old friend this week.





Oh the difference 14 years can make!

Uhoh! I've just handed in my notice....

... today I finally plucked up the courage to tell 'my' parents that come the New Year they will need to look elsewhere for childcare.



Yes that is correct - I am self-unemployed.



And I feel pretty happy about that :-)



Who knows what I will do after Christmas, that can take care of itself.


Anyone fancy a celebratory drink?

How would have thought it?

Twelve months ago, to CK's hilarity, I googled 'knitted monkeys'.


I did this on the off-chance that there was anyone else who had even thought of such things.


Of course there were.


After reading the hilarious exploits at Monkee Maker in her old digs (and hiding my monkeys further to the bottom of the knitting bag) and V.C. I set about making my own blog. Sadly for some many days it was quite literally unreadable.


I persevered and now here we are - today is my blogaversary.


Happy Blogaversary to me!

Have we been sucked in yet?**EDITED

***22:43 hours and we have just had Princess Curly-Wurly down the stairs saying she has been having bad dreams. Apparently the possibility of a black hole swallowing up the world before she wakes has disturbed her slumber.

CK took her back upstairs and tucked her into bed explaining that it was okay b/c he had done the science at work during his lunchtime and it would all be well. The science was called quantum mechanics and he had - at this point she interrupted him and said 'Is that like in your 'quantum physics book, Daddy?' Truly my husband is a science geek.

Apparently she was laughing by the time he came downstairs because he said to tell her friends that if any of them were worried she should inform them the experiment was done in the shed last weekend. It involved Pr C-W and Destructo Boy riding in opposite directions on their bikes until CK released the neutrogena and the whole thing went CRASH! They kept it quiet so as not embarrass the long term efforts of all those at CERN ;-)



The (excuse my spelling b/c I think it will have to be phonetic) Hadron accelarator under the Alps in Switzerland was started up at 8:30 this morning. Being a household of nerds and proto-nerds and dogs we listened to the whole thing on the radio. Well, most of us did, the dogs just lounged around snoozing.

Of the three of us listening one was quite interested but fairly clueless as to the science. One was kind of interested and ignorant of the science. And the seven year old boy was listening horrified waiting for a black hole to open and suck us all in, never to be heard from again.

It hasn't happened yet. As far as I know. Let me know if you find yourself being s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d out into a blackhole. Please.

Yes Folks, that's right! The time is now!

It has been sooooooo long since the rather fabulous WMK accepted me into her 'good people' programme I am beginning to feel a bit of shame creeping in around the edges.

What is supposed to happen is that when the good person sends out a special parcel to you you have a year to send on something else to three other people.

Hmmmm ... fell right at that first hurdle!

So here I publicly declare to you all that as of now the first three people who indicate in the comments that they would like to join the 'good people programme' will receive from me a 'something' handmade. Just remember to send the 'good people vibe' out into the world again to another three people.

sincerely,

trash.

Have been a little bit crafty recently

Did you know Ric-Rac is the blog repository of loads of very smashing blog links? Seriously, after I check my mail and blog I head on over there and read through all the blogs she shows off in her pretty little sidebar.

This one has, in among all it its other loveliness, a pattern for the Ruby doll. Now, you may be like me and assume that once this doll was made you were to be showered with rubies. Or you may actually have logically considered reality. However, this is the doll I made from this very straightforward pattern.

She is quite sweet really, isn't she? Except she seems to be in a position of surrender. I keep telling her to put her arms down but to date she continues to give up (plus she seems to be somewhat of a sulky moo, not sure we want her to be in our gang anyway!).

I liked doing this pattern so much I cut out another straight away. However this time? 'We're gonna get funky!!' I played with the layout of the face shapes and got a little carried away with the embroidery (using that term loosley!). Still need to figure out the hair on the sleeping one but as I have cut out today's work twice it can go and live in the 'one day'pile for a few days.

I will do something about 'sleepy one' having a needle through her nose. I shall take it out and save the idea for another doll; perhaps Papua New Guinean or maybe punk. Hmmmmm.....

A few weeks ago Giovanna and I went mooching around the top end of the S.W and discovered this fabulous little shop selling Amy Butler patterns and a selection of rather fabulous material. I gave into temptation and bought an A.B. bag pattern. Locket said it would be very tricky and complicated but I think she was just being mean b/c I wouldn't let her have my pattern. So bleaurgh to Missus Locket and I shall now show off my rather whizzy bag.

I can't won't show a picture of the lining b/c the photo I took turned out quite Ob/Gyn! Not that it looks that way on real life I hasten to add!!

Again I liked it so much I cut the pattern again straight away. The tartan (Hunting Stewart I think. Anyone?) is an old Land's End flannelette shirt I loved very much in its day. Apart from anything else this was my travel shirt, I cannot begin to count how many plane trips to Aus this has made! So I love that it is getting a new lease of ife as a handbag. Plus Giovanna and Sylv will be thrilled that I am reusing some of the crubbish that lies around my house.

So far the exterior is just pinned. I was trying the gingham out for a lining - what do y'all think???


There is more but I have either pulled it out or ripped it back or can't find it in the depths of my small boy's room!

Answer to the question three....

..... we had pasta with the defrosted, homemade tomato sauce I tarted up - penne pasta since you asked.

I added some more onions (because there is NO SUCH thing as TOO many!!), some slightly crispy bacon and a leftover sasuage from the night before. Obviously I chopped all of these things up b/c everyone who didn't get the sausage would have been royally pissed off.

Sprinkled a whack of parmesan across the top and fed it to the hungry terences who polished the lot off before devouring the homemade biscuits I had baked yesterday aftie.

See - much more worthwhile use of my thinking time than that crazy mama in her orange top ;-)

Update on Cheeky Mama.

She came up to me at school today (and seriously? The woman should not wear orange) and said that the job had fallen through and she wouldn't need me anymore.

Questions I asked myself:

1. Was this true?
2. Did I care?
3. What were we going to have for dinner tonight?

I only answered 3.



;-)

I was laughing it so hard I needed tissues.

Like most of us I read lots of other blogs. I find it is a good way to neglect my children, other people's children, the housework and the health and wellbeing of my dogs. Oh, and find out about other people's lives because I am just very nosey.

Heth's is a blog I have been reading for a while now, most of this year I think. And I love an adult's view of a large family, I only have the child's perspective. Today's post was so funny I have reproduced it here but go by and say hi to Heth. She's fun.

Car Seats. Life Savers, Most of the Time.


I've recently had to do some car seat switching. Jack borders between a five point harness and booster. He's technically ready for a booster, in theory. So I bought him a new one. After about two booster days, I decided he was going back in a five point. He wouldn't stay put and kept unbuckling himself at all the wrong times. In his five point, he can get the shoulder straps undone by himself, but that bottom buckle sticks and I have to unbuckle it for him. Fast forward..

It's a long story but circumstances led to the following situation: Jack, Gemma and Toby were locked in the van along with my keys, my purse, and my cell phone. The van was running and the air conditioner was on. They were all buckled securely in their seats. We were parked in the dentist's office parking lot. No one with an extra key was anywhere near being able to come save us. We were stranded and I needed to figure out how I was going to get in.

I took my post by the back window, the one that looks in to where Jack was sitting. He could hear me so I explained that I couldn't get in and I needed his help. I told him that I wanted him to unbuckle himself. He looked at me like I had spaghetti coming out of my nose. I told him again to try to unbuckle his seat belt. He smirked and started working on it.

It was clear that he truly couldn't get that buckle unsnapped. His shoulder straps were already off but that bottom latch is a bugger and he just couldn't get it. I kept telling him to push harder, to use both thumbs. To take a break and try again and to give it all he's got. No luck.I moved on to plan "b".

I told him to try to wiggle himself up and out of the shoulder straps while still buckled. He shimmied and squirmed but nothing short of some crazy contortionist moves were going to get him out of those tight straps. I took consolation that at least he was correctly fastened in his seat. Even if it meant I couldn't get my dang car unlocked.I them moved to plan "c".

I told him to just unbuckle his whole seat from the car. Luckily his seat wasn't installed with the new latches and tethers. His seat was buckled in to the van the old fashioned way using a lap belt in the very back seat. He reached around and pushed that button, releasing his car seat from the seat. He was still strapped in to the car seat it self though.

This is the part where I started laughing. No doubt the people who were out and about that day were wondering about the crazy lady who was dancing around and gesturing outside of her van window. And now she was laughing. I laughed because there was hope. I knew we would eventually work this out without the help of a locksmith and his extravagant fee. Jack would get this taken care of, somehow. This was his opportunity to use his ninja/Navy Seal/Mac Gyver moves for good and not evil.

Now you have to know the layout of our van. It's not your typical 12 passenger with bench seats. This is an old hotel airport shuttle. It has stairs. It has an aisle. The back row spans the width of the van. Jack's seat is straight back down the aisle. So he stood up like a little turtle with his shell of a car seat still attached to his back and he tried to walk up the aisle. One step, then a jerk. The seat was too wide to go down the aisle. Dang.I started coaching him on trying to turn to the side. No luck. We tried turning to the other side. Nope. Crouching down. No. Standing on his tippy toes. No. Hmmm. My charades outside of the van were getting progressively more odd.

Then I had a great idea. What if he climbed over the back seat and unlocked the back door?! Wow, I'm a genius! I started talking him through it but stopped mid-way because I realized that there is a bar that spans the storage area for hanging things from. I suddenly pictured Jack, in his car seat, suspended helplessly from that bar, hanging from his seat. That would be the end of the rescue and we would be calling in for back up.That is when it dawned on me. I needed him to climb over all of the seats and then unlock the side door. He got it and started in on the climb. It was absolutely hilarious. My little snail, housing his seat on his back slowly climbed over all of the seats until he reached the lock and with a grin, yanked it up. I laughed and cried all at the same time. "Jack, you are the hero! You saved the day!" And he did.

But he still hasn't graduated to a booster. Maybe next year.

I value honesty. You?

I don't know why but my blog email gets all the spam I ever receive - money offers, African government cash clearance, enhancement of my in-bed experiences (I think this means a more comfy mattress;-), etc, etc..

My grown-up email only ever gets spam from places like The Times and Knitting Daily and stuff like that. It is a sad kind of place this email's spam folder. Not so trashalou@googlemail.com. Nu-uh, no way and hold on to your hat when you go through that one baby.

Just once I 'lost' a real email in the spam folder so I like to check them every so often and today I found the best EVER! I present to you the 'world's first ever, honest scam, we gonna tell you we are out to fleece you' Spam - "If you own $25.000, we can reduce it lower then $13.500"

How funny is that? I am tempted to contact them and give them cash just for their honesty.